The Space In-Between

Images and article by Ashley Purdin

Intertwined between the to-do list and your goals and achievements lies the space in between—the space to breathe. Do you allow for this space? A beautiful sunset, a warm cup of tea, snuggles in front of the fire with your loyal dog, time spent with family and friends. It is these things that make up a life. These are the things that allow you to be truly and unapologetically yourself. To follow your feelings and not have to suck it up and do it anyway like careers often require. I’m not saying to cast your job and goals aside, but what if there were some space in between for you to spend time finding yourself, your soul, and your peace?

If I had known how crucial this space was in my 20s, I could have saved myself a lot of grief, stress, and burnout. Instead, I found myself isolated, not having cultivated new friendships or tended to the ones I had. I was isolated in my own skin. I filled my time working, marketing, blogging—doing, doing, doing; going, going, going—all of the time. When exhaustion inevitably set in, I would lie in my bed and cry, knowing that I had to slog through a full day ahead.

At one point, I decided I needed a change and invited a friend of mine to breakfast at IHOP every Sunday morning at 7:00 a.m. Why so early, you ask? That was the only time I could fit it into my packed schedule. I would pull out my calendar, equipped with new fodder from a how-to-conquer-the-world-by-thirty podcast, and we would dig in. We got to know the waitress on a first-name basis—though her name escapes me now.  We would comb through our schedules, trying to find space to—you guessed it—cram more in. Do more, be more, expect more, gain more. I was gobbling up my life—no—devouring it without even knowing that I was missing out on my twenties. 

My message here: take time for the space in between. I could have looked at my schedule and crossed half of it out. You see, slowing down builds consistency. Slowing down builds peace. Slowing down keeps you from burning out by 30 or 40 or 50. 

Life has a funny way of talking us into regrets. But I refuse to go down that path, for regret is the opposite of gratitude, and regret causes us to think less of ourselves and where we have been. Instead, I am so incredibly grateful for all that I have done and all the places I have gone. I am thankful for those core people who made it possible along the way, and I am thankful for the now—for the slow moments, for making dinner while listening to Enya, and a crackling fire. For now, it’s the time in between that matters most to me, and I’m thankful for all I have lived through for the perspective.